I had a draft I was ready to post tonight about letting go. It was lovely. I wrote about the seasons and how fall is the time of letting go, and how I was working to let go of expectations about speed and body image. You would have loved it. But after reading about Kavanaugh’s confirmation, I just couldn’t. Letting go felt too trite, too simple, and too close to giving up.
It’s a strange feeling to be completely deflated about the humans in power on the eve of an event that is a celebration of the human spirit. I’m ecstatic for everyone who is about to live out their dream of finishing a marathon. I’m also heartbroken for every survivor who just witnessed our worst nightmare realized — that speaking out against abuse not only didn’t result in any consequences for the abuser, but also made life measurably worse for the survivor. I can’t feel completely excited about the marathon, and I can’t feel completely hopeless about the world. People are terrible. People are also incredible. Nothing happens in a vacuum, and this incredibly high and incredibly low day is making for an incredibly complicated series of emotions.
I don’t have any advice or any quippy wisdom or any little running anecdote to make it all okay. I just want you all to know that I love you and I’m incredibly proud of you, whether you’re about to run 26.2, or whether you’re just going to wake up and face the world again tomorrow.